Shit People Say During Our Engagement

My running list of shit people say during our two-year engagement. Prepare for filthy words and much ranting. 

Ah. The smiling couple. See how happy they look? NOT FOR LONG, SUCKERS!

1. "But you're waiting SO long to get married. Two years is a LONG time." 
How astute of you, dipshit, that's the point. We specifically planned our wedding for after Don graduates with his bachelor's and I graduate with my master's. We specifically planned our wedding to fall in between the transition where we'll be moving from our college towns to a new state for Don to start law school. We are doing the responsible thing here, and we're proud of that. When we start our life together, we'll be two very educated people and we'll marry knowing that we did the right thing and got our educations first.

2. "Then why'd you get engaged SO early?" 
Because we're in love, asshole. Is that clear enough for you?

3. "Is that a diamond?" 
No. It's the product of yet another one of our fiscally and ethically responsible choices- and on top of that, my stone is rarer than yours, more colorless than yours, and more flawless than yours, so screw off.

4. "How was he able to buy that ring?"
With money.

5. "I guess your parents will be paying for the wedding." 
Actually, I am budgeting for and paying for the majority of our wedding with savings from the two jobs I am working in addition to my full college course load. My parents have offered to help with certain things on the budget, and we are very grateful to them for that gift.

6. "I guess Don will be needing to find a career/job soon." 
You guess wrong, Don is just fine where he is. In fact, I am prepared to be the sole earner for three or four years while Don does graduate school, so you can go ahead and stuff your patriarchal notions about society right back up your ass where they belong.

7. "You're too young to get engaged/married."
Thanks, we value your advice so much (not really. Screw off.)

8. "Two years is plenty of time to change your mind."
Yeah, ok. After four years of dating, going long-distance for one of those years, moving to a different state, experiencing a grandparent being mentally decimated by Alzheimer's, euthanizing a terminally ill pet, and dealing with the stress of college plus managing at least two high school or collegiate debate teams at any given time, I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen.

9. "The divorce statistics don't look good for you." 
Seriously? We're debaters. We research everything. I'm pretty sure we're a lot more well-versed in divorce statistics than you. We're not stupid, we understand the statistics. Unfortunately for your nosy self, you are not privy to our private conversations as a couple that pertain to how we plan to make our marriage last. But regardless, this is a really horrible thing for you to say to someone. Stop being an asshole.

10. "You're throwing your life away so early/You have so much ahead of you!"
My personal favorite. I don't personally view pledging myself to the love of my life as a death sentence. Every cool thing I have yet to experience (travelling to another country, roadtrip across the Southwest, skydiving, learning to surf, coaching a team to Nationals) will be so much better with Don by my side. I really don't understand this mentality that all the fun things go away after you're married. Yes, things change, but in the end, I have my lover, best friend and favorite partner-in-crime to travel through this life with. What could be better? <3